In six years, a lot can change. But not in Bermuda. I don't claim to have a photographic, or even better-than-average, memory, but I'd wager real, folding money that if you took a high resolution satellite image of the city of Hamilton in the parish of Pembroke on the island of Bermuda and compared it to a similar photo taken six years ago - which was the last time I was in Bermuda - you couldn't tell the difference. The shops and restaurants are exactly the same. The same people are wearing short pants and dress shirts and driving their scooters like maniacs on the left side of the road. There is a beat up old sloop moored up in the harbor that I swear is in the identical spot it was back then.

Hop off the plane and a soca band is playing in the terminal to distract you during your extraordinarily long wait to get through Customs. The line was long enough that the band cycled through their entire repertoire and was on their second rendition of "Don't Worry, Be Happy" by the time I got to the desk. I was asked if I had been to any dangerous places like China or Canada. A little spooky, considering I had been sitting next to an Asian family wearing masks for SARS prevention when I was leaving Detroit. Annoying as all that is, you forget about it as soon as you walk outside to get your shuttle and you realize you are the only one wearing a coat.

Bermuda is a charming mishmash of tropical island splendor, U.S. economic dominance, and traditional British eccentricity. Often thought to be a Caribbean island, Bermuda is actually situated a few hundred miles off the North Carolina coast. As a result, its tourism seasons are opposite of the Caribbean: summer is the high season. Winter is, well, still pretty nice.

Even in the darkest depths of January and February, you'll rarely find a high temperature lower than the upper 60s and often into the 70s, due primarily to the island's proximity to the Gulf Stream. Now, if you live in Orlando or La Jolla that means nothing to you. But if you've been waking up everyday in a sunless, single-digit Michigan winter for a month or two, it's heaven. Off season in Bermuda means no crowds, and somewhat cheaper rates. It also means your water activities are going to be limited to a walk on the beach or a dip in a heated pool.

If you are looking for an extremely kinetic vacation, Bermuda is probably not for you. Oh, there are all sorts of activities, but that's not what Bermuda is all about. Bermuda is about beautiful gardens, and unique architecture. It's about wandering about until your feet are too sore to wander. It's about long stretches of pink sand, punctuated by craggy rock formations. It's about 400 year old villages and huge stone fortresses that have been converted into museums. It's also ardently about golf, deep sea fishing, and scuba diving - none of which I do.

In Bermuda, you wake slowly and have a leisurely breakfast. You pick a couple of things to do or see out and about on the island for the day. You return to sit by the pool and read (or write) for an hour or so. You have dinner, linger, and take an after-dinner drink outside in the ocean breeze overlooking Hamilton harbor. You go to sleep. Repeat daily until the plane ride home.

The feeling of comfort is enhanced by the strong sense of civilization. Visit your average island in Caribbean and you may feel like you have one foot in the third world, with all the street vendors and various hawkers and throngs of pushy people in the market. In Bermuda there are no shanties, there is no general chaos.

There are pubs, which require "smart casual attire" in the evening; cable TV, internet access and cell phone coverage; the plumbing works; the public transportation is reliable. There are beautiful and unique little homes set amidst the tropical flora. Bermudans have even set their currency one-to-one in value with the US dollars, eliminating exchange rate worries. In fact, just about all business is transacted in actual US currency, which is enormously convenient - for an American, anyway. All the reassuring trappings of civilization are at hand. I make no apologies for preferring that to the disarray and squalor that often pass for "native culture" or "local color" in the eyes of many.

No sir. Give me a big comfy wing chair, a glass of Chateau de Sales, and a view of Hamilton harbor any day.

That's not to say there is nothing but idyllic perfection. There are chinks in the sophisticated armor. There is the occasional drunken derelict wandering the city with a bottle in a brown paper bag - but never are you asked for a handout. There is your garden variety schizoid holding a conversation with herself on the bus. And there are bits of graffiti in some spots, left by a pack of kids (presumably) who go by the name of My Lord's Bay Mafia, which for me conjures up the image of the Soprano family dressed to play cricket.

Also, according to the local paper anyway, there are homeless. Depending on estimates, there are somewhere between 10 and 20 homeless people in Bermuda, one suspects the cops could name them all from memory. They are homeless for the usual reasons - substance abuse or mental illness - but oddly, they all seem to be employed, at least partially. It's a fascinating dynamic. Everyone has a job in Bermuda, but housing is dear, even if you are sober and sane. Of course, you have to understand that being homeless in Bermuda means you sleep under the stars with the ocean in the background and all the fresh air you can breath - your job covers your meals. According to the story, at least one of the dozen or so homeless stated that he lived like that because he preferred sleeping outside.

I'd be remiss if I didn't take a moment to mention the local Bermuda paper - The Royal Gazette. It features the usual wire stories from AP, UPI, et. al., but the local coverage varies from quaint to eccentric. A while back it was featured in a book called Bermuda Shorts, subtitled The Hidden Side of the Richest Place on Earth. If I recall correctly, the book was a compendium of local stories from the Royal Gazette which would rate quite high on the unintentional comedy scale. I happened to be visiting during the Bermuda Film Festival so the Gazette was full of reviews of independent movies every day. Here's a perfect example.

I'm not sure that the film would appeal to audiences in Bermuda over the age of 20, something. There are just too many f's to stomach. In fact it’s hard to think of it as entertainment. I had to watch it as I had to write this review, but I can't think of a single person I would recommend it to.

Well I take that back a bit; Al, Elmore, Ayo, Nick, Jay, Charles and Paul they might find it interesting from a filmmaking point of view.

A valid point of view, but exactly who are Elmore, Ayo, Nick, et. al.? Presumably just friends of the reviewer that are into filmmaking techniques. A complete non-sequitor, but so perfectly quaint and endearing.

My hotel was the Fairmont Hamilton Princess, which you can think of as the flagship hotel on the island. It is known for being frequented by British royalty, and has a long enough history that Mark Twain's visits have become part of its lore. There's even a sculpture in his likeness sitting on a bench in the lobby, ready for conversation.

An ace hotel, if there ever was one, but it ain't cheap. I got one of the cheapest rooms, packaged through Expedia.com, off-season rates, and I still fretted over the cost. But like I said, expect first-world luxury, not third world squalor. Attentive doormen, koi gardens, turn-down service, top drawer wine list in the lounge - a quality job all the way. There are freshwater and saltwater pools, but no beach; they maintain a sister hotel, the Fairmont Southampton Princess, which is much more resorty, having both beach access and a golf course, and they run a ferry between the two every half hour or so giving you the best of both worlds. It's a good combination, because the location of your hotel in Bermuda is a key consideration.

You see, visitors to Bermuda cannot rent cars. You can rent scooters, but be careful: the locals tend to be somewhat kamikaze in their approach to scooter driving. They drive on the left, like all good Crown subjects, and the roads are narrow and full of blind corners and those horrible roundabouts. I figure that gives it the fear factor of bungee jumping but without the safety. That leaves you with the choice of taxi (very expensive) or public transportation to get around.

Public transportation means the bus and the ferry. Both work well. All bus rides are annoying, but the drivers are courteous and you buy passes for a day or three days so use is convenient. They stop just about everywhere, and pretty much keep on schedule. The ferry is similar; it will take you from Hamilton harbor to some strategic spots on the island - from which you can then catch the bus to wherever else you need to go inland. Your pass gets you all the ferry/bus rides you want, so you just buy the pass, check the schedule and make your plans. But still, it is something you need to plan; you can't just get up and go like you could if you had a rental car.

So the important thing is to get a hotel with direct access to what you will want to do most. If your intent is to spend endless days on the beach, any of the resort hotels along the south coast will serve you well. The pink sand beaches on the south shore are world renown. But bear in mind that unless you want to brave a scooter or shell out for taxi, you'll be standing by the road to catch one of the half-hourly busses to any non-beach destination.

If you are visiting off-season when you won't be playing in the sand every day or if your plans include spending more time touring the island or shopping, it's probably better to stay close to Hamilton. There's a good deal to do and see within Hamilton and within walking distance from Hamilton (say a mile or two walk), or a short ferry ride from Hamilton. But bear in mind that if you want to hit the beach on the south shore, you'll either have to pay for a cab or carry your beach gear on the bus.

An (expensive) alternative is to stay at one the Fairmont Princess hotels and use the private ferry service to go between the beach hotel and the city hotel.

There are about four major centers of interest in Bermuda, along with a few others minor ones in between.

1. The South Shore beaches. Most of these are associated with a large resort or some sort. They are generally considered to be among the most beautiful places in the world.

2. The city of Hamilton. The capital and center of commerce. Lots to do here - plenty of shopping for those who are interested and restaurants, some with balconies overlooking the harbor. There are a few things located on the outskirts of Hamilton that are a longish but pleasant walk away including Fort Hamilton, The Underwater Exploration Institute, and the Botanical Gardens, which is one of the most peaceful spots in the world.

3. The Royal Naval Dockyard area. The closest thing you'll get to mass tourist consumerism. There is actually a shopping mall here, tastefully done of course, and a gaming center for the kids. There's also the Maritime Museum which has some very cool stuff on the history of Bermuda. It is housed in a sprawling stone fort, or keep, that you have the run of. There is a moat in the center of the fort that houses a Dolphin Quest, where you can snorkel with Flipper.

4. St.George. Billed as the oldest continuously inhabited settlement in the New World. It is a picture perfect little town with all the shops and restaurant you would like. There's not a whole lot to do there except walk about and admire the full-on antiquity of the place. They showboat a bit with period costume presentations now and then, but mostly it's just a nice place to wander.

You could see just every point of interest in Bermuda, and have a good amount of time for golf or fishing or scuba, in the span of a week. For my first visit I had ten days which was way too much time. I think I did everything twice. My last visit I had three days, and I could have used one more. In the absence of a dedicated outdoor sport as a point of indulgence, four days is about right, especially off season with no bake-in-sun-for-a-day-or-two time. Considering that Bermuda is a two hour flight from just about anywhere on the east coast, it is a perfect extended weekend destination. Fly out Friday morning, fly back Monday evening; sync it up with a holiday weekend and you only end up using one vacation day.

Here's how to plan your four days.

First, you'll stay in Hamilton, so check the weather to find out what will be the best beach day, Saturday or Sunday (you can splurge on cab to and from the beach for the one day). Arrive and check in by Noon-ish on Friday. Walk down to the main dock and buy your transport pass. Hop the Ferry to the Naval Dockyard. Visit the Maritime Museum and swim with the dolphins if you like (they'll set you up with a wet suit). Wander around the Governor's mansion and check out the beautiful views of the ocean and the dockyard. Catch the ferry back to Hamilton. Walk down Front St. and pick a restaurant with a view of the harbor. Linger, have an after-dinner drink, especially if you are outside.

On your non-beach Saturday/Sunday hop the bus and head West toward St. George. You'll make two stops along the way, one at the Crystal Caves (skip this if you start much later than noon), the other at the Zoo/Aquarium, both are worth a stop. At the zoo, you'll find that some of the animals are kept within arms reach - even one as dangerous as a 15 foot alligator. Luckily, for protection, there is a sign instructing you to make an effort not to become prey. You can walk amongst the Golden Tamarin monkeys and there is even a peacock they let openly wander the grounds. Not something you'd see in the liability-fearing U.S. Anyway, you'll reach St. George by mid-late afternoon with enough time to wander about until dark, when you can stop in an ocean side restaurant for dinner. Linger, have an after-dinner drink. Hop the bus back to Hamilton.

For your beach Saturday or Sunday ask for beach recommendation, or just pick one (Horseshoe Bay is a safe choice) and hang out. Try to get to the beach near a hotel with a restaurant that interests you. Bake all day, have dinner by the sea. Linger, have an after-dinner drink. Catch a cab back to Hamilton.

Monday morning, before your flight home, you probably have time to do one last thing. You'll know what you want to do by that time. Something close-by in Hamilton - the Botanical Gardens or The Underwater Institute or maybe a glass-bottom boat tour. You'll have seen it in advertised or overheard a conversation about it and you'll think 'I have just enough time to squeeze that in before I leave,' and that's what you'll do.

It's easy to see how you could stretch this into a more substantial week-long vacation if you spent a couple of days golfing or fishing or scuba diving, but I think the easy access and convenience of Bermuda make it truly shine for the quick getaway.

And if you don't make it back for a few years, no problem, it'll still be the same. Linger, have an after-dinner drink. Don't worry, be happy.